|Paul David Tripp|
14 GOSPEL PRINCIPLES
That Can Radically
Change Your Family
I'm a reader, a researcher, and a former A student. I wanted to do this thing right, so I started reading and researching how to be the perfect parent long before my first son was born. Silly me... I thought if I could just read the right book, follow the right steps, do everything just right, results would be guaranteed. I forgot three things—my husband, my son, and me. We're not perfect. People don't respond to formulas. I couldn't even follow the formulas! I just got more and more frustrated, depressed, and felt like a failure 'cause things just weren't turning out like the books promised. If only I'd paid more attention to the book. The dozens of books on child rearing and discipline all came back to the same thing—consistency. Unfortunately, this mama was consistently inconsistent. I've carried a lot of guilt over the years for the things I didn't do and for the things I did do, especially with my eldest. It's been tough and hard to come to grips with. I am still learning to completely trust God to finish the work. I wish I'd had this book years ago when I was trying to do it all right and failing miserably. This book is different.
Paul David Tripp
14 GOSPEL PRINCIPLES
That Can Radically
Change Your Family
"In the midst of folding laundry, coordinating carpool schedules, and breaking up fights, many parents get lost. Feeling pressure to do everything “right” and raise up “good” children, it’s easy to lose sight of our ultimate purpose as parents in the quest for practical tips and guaranteed formulas.
In this life-giving book, Paul Tripp offers parents much more than a to-do list. Instead, he presents us with a big-picture view of God’s plan for us as parents. Outlining fourteen foundational principles centered on the gospel, he shows that we need more than the latest parenting strategy or list of techniques. Rather, we need the rescuing grace of God—grace that has the power to shape how we view everything we do as parents. Freed from the burden of trying to manufacture life-change in our children’s hearts, we can embrace a grand perspective of parenting overflowing with vision, purpose, and joy." ~ The Publisher
Honestly, I'm not finished, but I've read enough to know this book is not like any parenting book I've read before. It's resonating in my heart. I'm understanding some things I did wrong along the way. Knowing you've done things wrong and understanding what and why are two different things.
"This truth needs to be considered and needs to shape everything you do as a parent: If rules and regulations had the power to change the heart and life of your child, rescuing your child from himself and giving him a heart of submission and faith, Jesus would have never needed to come!" pg. 49Tripp's focus is completely different. He maintains that God loves our children even more than we do. I remember making a song for my eldest when he was still in the womb. The last line of the song was, "Jesus loves you name even more than we do." I believe God knew I'd need that assurance as I sang it to him thousands of times over his childhood. PARENTING is focused on being an ambassador for God in bringing about your child's heart changes rather than on just controlling your child's outward behavior. Our inability to control what goes on inside our children is one of Tripp's main focuses.
"Here's the good news: we can admit our powerlessness as parents and not live in constant panic and frustration. We can embrace our inability and not worry our way through our parenting years. Why? Because as parents we serve a gloriously loving and powerful Redeemer. He loves our children infinitely more than we do and as evidence of that love, he has placed them in a family of faith where the story of his love will be beard again and again. He has power beyond our ability to understand...He delights in showering his power down on his children to do for them what is his will, but what they cannot do for themselves." pg. 69One chapter that resonated with me was the one on Identity. Tripp wrote about finding our identity vertically in God or horizontally in our husband, our children, our job, our stuff, or our community. When we don't find our identity in God, we have troubles. He gives indicators that show you that you're finding your identity in your children and help to change. I found that part of my identity is from my kids, because I've been momma for so long, it's just part of who I am.
I'm not one to write in my books (though I take notes in my Bible sometimes). I was only a couple chapters in when I realized I was tearing off lots of pieces of paper and saving pages, but I wanted to mark specific passages. This book is incredibly quotable. It seems like every page has something I want to underline and remember. Mind you, my youngest is 15. I thought I was beyond parenting books, but this one has been helpful with understanding my teens as well as giving advice to younger parents.
Got little ones? Get this book. Got tweens? Get this book. Got teens? Get this book. You might even want to read it if you have a grown son or daughter who is going their own way.
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