Still Learning

 I've learned something about myself recently. I've felt a good amount of anxiety and stress as I've learned my job. It's been hard learning the computer system, the rules, how the insurance works and such. I've also had to hone my customer service skills, though most of it is just being friendly and nice. As a born again Christian, that comes naturally for me. It's just allowing Holy Spirit to work on me and letting the love and kindness of Jesus flow through me.

My boss/trainer has said many times when I make a mistake, "But, did anybody die?" She, and the others who have helped me to learn my job have been amazing. No one has, in any way, made me feel inadequate or like I cannot learn it. Except me. 

I've worried about how difficult it has been to learn. I've worried that I'm too old to learn it. I've fretted a lot.

That was not what God had in mind.

Everyone has been so patient and encouraging to me (including parents of patients). It finally dawned on me. The anxiety about learning this job came with me. It didn't originate from my coworkers or the ministry. It was all stuff that I've internalized through the years by growing up and working in negative environments where I was never good enough, where I was micro-managed, where I felt I had to earn love, kindness, and respect.

That's not the way it is where I am now. I didn't win this job, I was recruited into it and placed there by God. I now believe that one reason is so that I can heal emotionally and mentally. It's amazing, but they trust me to do my job the best I can and ask for help when I need it. I don't have to make a tally mark when the phone rings, or I order information, or answer a question. It's an amazing feeling.

I am very thankful. God's still growing me at 60. Thank you, Jesus!

What has God been teaching you lately?

Blessings,

Laura