Seven Minutes #7

 Trust

Seven minutes of writing stream of conciousness begins now!

    

    Trust. "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD And whose trust is in the LORD." Jeremiah 17:7  I think, if I were to look up the Hebrew, that there might be a bit of a difference in those two parts of the sentence. But what matters to me is... 

Do I truly trust the Lord?

I mean really, do I?

If I truly trust the Lord, would I worry about so many things?

I've made great progress in this over the last few years. I've come to realize, through years of living with a faithful LORD and Savior, that He always takes care of me. Always. I don't really worry for me. Though retirement does seem a bit scary when faced without savings. But God. 

He took care of us through all of these years with low, slow, or no income. How can I think that he will not continue to care for me and for my husband? That's not even fair to Him. He has shown himself faithful to all generations, and He has shown himself faithful to care for my every need. 

When I am afraid, I will trust in Him.

He is worthy of praise, trust, hope, and calm faith.

Time's up!

I will trust in the Lord at all times.

Laura

Still Learning

 I've learned something about myself recently. I've felt a good amount of anxiety and stress as I've learned my job. It's been hard learning the computer system, the rules, how the insurance works and such. I've also had to hone my customer service skills, though most of it is just being friendly and nice. As a born again Christian, that comes naturally for me. It's just allowing Holy Spirit to work on me and letting the love and kindness of Jesus flow through me.

My boss/trainer has said many times when I make a mistake, "But, did anybody die?" She, and the others who have helped me to learn my job have been amazing. No one has, in any way, made me feel inadequate or like I cannot learn it. Except me. 

I've worried about how difficult it has been to learn. I've worried that I'm too old to learn it. I've fretted a lot.

That was not what God had in mind.

Everyone has been so patient and encouraging to me (including parents of patients). It finally dawned on me. The anxiety about learning this job came with me. It didn't originate from my coworkers or the ministry. It was all stuff that I've internalized through the years by growing up and working in negative environments where I was never good enough, where I was micro-managed, where I felt I had to earn love, kindness, and respect.

That's not the way it is where I am now. I didn't win this job, I was recruited into it and placed there by God. I now believe that one reason is so that I can heal emotionally and mentally. It's amazing, but they trust me to do my job the best I can and ask for help when I need it. I don't have to make a tally mark when the phone rings, or I order information, or answer a question. It's an amazing feeling.

I am very thankful. God's still growing me at 60. Thank you, Jesus!

What has God been teaching you lately?

Blessings,

Laura

What do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

 

What do you want to be when you grow up?

How many times were we asked this?

How many times have we asked this?

Does the question even make sense?

I wanted to be a:

Princess

Mommy

Nurse

Lawyer

Singer

Zookeeper

Teacher

Handmaker

Writer

and to live happily ever after.

    Well, life doesn't work out the way we want it to or expect it to. BUT—

• I married my high school sweetheart as his princess, and I'm still the queen of his life.

• I was a homeschool mommy to two little boys and two little girls. Now I'm grammy to one little grandson.

• I nursed my children and husband during illnesses and injuries.  Now that everyone's grown, and I'm preparing for retirement (again), I work in a doctor's office.

• I had to know homeschool laws for the states we lived in, and I had to settle disputes between my four little clients. ~smile~

• I made up songs and sang to my children a lot as well as worshiping and praising Jesus. My husband and I were even  on worship teams a couple of times.

• I've been zookeeper to dogs, cats, newts, fish, chickens and a goat. 

• I homeschooled all of my children from birth—my first until  tenth grade and the rest through high school. 

• I have old-fashioned Christian morals.

• I love old-fashioned hobbies. Over the years, that's meant:  embroidery, sewing, cross-stitching, soap making, knitting, sewing, scratch baking, bread baking, rug making, and reading about it all!

• Last of all, thanks to my husband insisting I had something to say, I began my blog in 2007, and I've been writing ever since. 

So, I guess you can say that I've lived happily ever after. BUT, 

if you've been around for long, you know that I've also fought depression, anxiety, cancer, low income, an entrepreneurial husband (lol), and the stuff of life. BUT GOD.

It's now, with 20/20 vision, that I can look back and say it's been good. I'm enjoying the happily ever after, now that I can see it for what it was and what it is. Life with Jesus, my husband, my family, and my friends. Nothing else really matters. Truly trusting God has given me the peace that passes all understanding. Thank you Jesus.

Laura

 

Summing up a Childhood

Hello everyone!

    My daughter sent this to me in an email a few months ago. I just found it again and realized that it sums up her childhood as she remembers it. I don't want to lose this. I read it again today, and it filled me with nostalgia for the hard good old days. More about now at the bottom of the post.

Laura

~~~~~

Emily to mom

I can't sleep and started feeling nostalgic.

Thank you for all the times that you rubbed my back and gave me water when I was sick.

For holding me when I cried over things we couldn't control

For listening to my silly stories and embracing my goofiness

For encouraging me to be creative

For taking me for slushies, cappuccinos, and just us time

For getting me in music lessons when you knew I didn't have much else

For trying so many times to get me into groups

For playing fiddler on the roof and musical numbers while we cleaned

For field trips and park days

For ice cream cones after the water park

For library days and video store nights

For pajama runs

For Apple cider slushies

For hot cocoa, homemade chocolate chip cookies, singing in the rain, and loving gloomy days

For new ornaments every year

For $1 movie matinees

For thrifting and garage saling

For the gift of music in our home

For homemade honey oat bread and white rolls

For all the meals you made with love

For resurrection cookies and communion good Fridays

For Easter baskets, stockings, 4th of July fireworks, and pencil hunts

For Little Debbie snacks

For little adventures

For sunsets at the farm

For holding me through my ear aches and getting me the care I needed

For hiding my Barbie cuz of my irrational fear

For gracie, my favorite dog

For birthday parties

For holidays

For crosslines and food stamps

For scrapbooks

For fundraisers

For Walmart bag kites

For old musicals

For readathons

From movie nights

For date nights with mac and cheese and hot dogs

For Scooby-Doo and cyberchase

For sticking out hard situations because you thought it would help us

For praising me and encouraging me

For including me in your book reviews

For being my friend

For listening even when you weren't sure of the answer

For encouraging me to keep going even when I wanted to give up and college

For letting me live with you for so long

For Betsy despite her cancerous existence LOL (1st car)

For snack runs on paper route nights

For picking apples, berries, pumpkins, and vegetables

For chickens, a very weird goat, and lots and lots of kittens

For the blogs

For visual Latin

For caring what we watched and listen to

For the hours and hours you spent calculating our homeschool hours

For the many nights where you didn't want to cook but you still made sure we were fed

For never leaving us never giving up

For choosing to fight through everything you were taught as child to be the best mom you know how to be

From Maple leaf parades in the cold

For chocolate old fashions on Maple leaf morning

For all of our Christmas traditions

For walk through Bethlehem

For trusting me to go to summer camp

For trusting me to watch Michael and Amy

For forgiving me for breaking half of your dishes

For forgiving me for my many mistakes and many meltdowns

For forgiving me when I speak before I think or speak emotionally

For allowing me to choose my own path and never trying to limit me

For surviving

For forgiving my unkindness in the hardest years of your life

For being there for the hardest years of my life

Thank you for being you, loving me and raising me the best you knew how. Thank you for loving and honoring me for who I am. I love you very much and I love the precious memories we made as I grew up.

~~~~~

MY THOUGHTS:

    All those years on the edge of poverty so that I could homeschool the kids were most definitely worth it all. As I see so many kids from broken families come into the office, I've realized that my kids weren't disadvantaged at all. They had two married for life parents who gave them as much stability as possible. They had the best life could give them—a mom and dad who loved each other in spite of hard circumstances and sometimes hard hearts, who were selfless and selfish and discouraged and hopeful, who trusted that somehow, some way, the LORD would provide. He did. He has, in many ways, restored what the locusts have stolen. 

    We toured the house next door today. It's been fixed up for sale. The listing price is twice what we paid for ours just seven years ago. Prices began skyrocketing after the pandemic. Sometimes we think we should downsize, but God has made this place for us. My car broke down last week. It's not such a big deal since I'm three minutes from work. It's easy for my husband to drop me and pick me up.  

    I am thankful. I am thankful that my high school sweetheart husband and I will finish this life together as long as we live.

    I am thankful that my daughter has thankful memories of her childhood.

    I am thankful for writing this blog. It encouraged and still encourages me to trust in God and love this life He's leading me through.

    Thank you all for being part of that!

God bless you all!

Laura 

Happy in the place God's put me

A New Year's Choice

 

Have you made a new year's resolution or two or ten?

I haven't this year.

    I have thought about what I'd like my life to look like. I want more community in my life. That fell off in 2020, when we left the church we'd been in for many years. We were overworked in that church. It made both my husband and I timid about getting over involved again in our new church. The result has been that we've been on the fringes at church... involved but not involved.  There have been too many excuses. But, truly, I haven't made church a priority. 

    I've been seeking God through His word, a Bible study with ladies in the next town, videos and podcasts, weekly Sunday morning attendance. But. I've been feeling the longing for some time now to feel more connected to the body of Christ. That takes time and commitment. 

    Do I believe a person must be there every time the church door opens? No. But. That's the way my husband and I have lived much of our married life. Up until that last experience, it was all good. Even the last experience was not bad. We were there for a purpose, brought in during a natural disaster by God, but the heavy dependence on us wore us out. 

    What I am saying is that we I have been neglecting Wednesday evening Bible study with the ladies and Sunday evening services. I just haven't wanted to get too involved. Who's suffered from that? Me. (I crossed out we. I cannot speak for my husband.) I believe that I've made choices that lead me further from what God wants for me.

    So, no resolution, just a choice. I am going to stop avoiding church for whatever reason. You might say that I am repenting of being lazy about going to church and making relationships with God's people. 

    So, this year I choose to grow in relationships with other Christians in my own church. 

    I choose to listen to God when He speaks to me through the Word or by whatever method He chooses. 

    I'm getting away from the fence and into the fold.  

    Has this struck a chord with you?

Let me know in the comments. I encourage you to listen to this short video by Phil Robertson that I listened to this morning.

Have a wonderful weekend,

Laura