Monday, August 29, 2011

"He Maketh the Barren Woman to Keep House, and to Be a Joyful Mother of Children. Praise Ye the LORD."



 I was a barren woman.  I know the pain and anguish of longing for a baby that I could not have.  It took about 2 1/2 years and fertility medicines to conceive.  The result was my son, Matthew.  I absolutely adored him.  I quit my job to become a full-time mommy.  Matthew was the kind of baby that really required full-time.  I felt like I was always nursing, changing, singing, and rocking.  He was a fussy baby and did everything early, very early.  He rolled over for the first time at two weeks old!  We had to take him out of his bassinet shortly after that because he would work himself from one end to the other in the night and end up with his head pressed against the end of the bassinet.  He required a lot of energy night and day.  We also went through some pretty significant financial troubles.  My husband and I were pretty stressed most of the time.  These things and a few others led to our final decision.  We were confirmed one child parents.  No cute little baby could sway our decision.  It was absolutely final. 
But God.
The year I turned 30, I went to a regular monthly women’s meeting at our church called Women of the Word.  At the end of the evening, I went down to the altar to pray about some long forgotten problem.  What I do remember is the way God took the whole encounter in a completely unexpected direction. 
Me…praying along about whatever was on my heart and mind at the time…minding my own business
God…”You’re going to have another baby.” 
Me…”What?” (Surely I didn’t hear that right.)
God… “You’re going to have a baby.”
Me…”We’re confirmed one child parents!”
God… “You’re going to have another baby.”
Me…(A little slow in getting it, but understanding that God was messing with me.)
But….followed by every excuse and every reason why it absolutely wouldn’t work to     have another baby.  Every time I said anything, HE said, “I’ll take care of it.”
Finally, I gave Him the big one, “Lowell is NEVER gonna go for this.”
He just said, “I’ll take care of it.”
By this time I’m on the floor.  I tell him, “You’d better give me confirmation on this.”  The lady on the floor next to me rolled over and said, “God says you’ve got confirmation.” 
“DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?”
“No, but God says you’ve got confirmation.
Oh boy.  I went home afraid to tell Lowell what had happened.  The next morning, I woke up; and, it was just as settled in my spirit as if I’d taken a pregnancy test.  I didn’t like it; but, I knew it was going to happen.  BUT, I would NOT take any medications to help it along.  That afternoon, I decided I had to tell Lowell.  His response was “He didn’t say anything to me about it!”
Months passed.  Lowell agreed to go to the dr with me to find out what we’d have to do if we wanted to conceive.  More months passed.  Finally, the issue was settled…at a garage sale on top of a mountain!  Lowell was working in Branson.  I was there for the weekend and we stopped at a garage sale.  Lowell waited in the car with Matthew, then 5.  I saw a wind-up baby swing and remembered how sometimes that was the only way to get Matthew to sleep.  One night I slept on the couch and kept winding the swing every time it stopped.  Well, I went out and told him about it.  Lowell said he’d buy it if they’d sell it for $15.  He came back with it.  I knew then that pregnant or not, we were expecting.
I tracked temperatures and other important things.  It took two weeks!  God is certainly able to perform His plans in our lives in His timing.  Little Emily took her time getting to us.  She was two weeks overdue when I was induced.  She didn’t want to come out.  It was nice and cozy and warm.  So, after around 24 hours of labor, I had a c-section.  We were instantly in love.
A few weeks later, the doctor wanted to talk about birth control.  How could we say no to God after what we’d been through?  We decided let God decide about another child.  Big step very big step for us.  Over time, Michael and Amy joined our family.  They also have miracles surrounding their births.  Space won’t permit me to tell all.  Suffice it to say, that I look at our children in this way.
Matthew was the child we prayed for, our first-born.
Emily was the child of our obedience.  We obeyed God even though it wasn’t our will at the time.  God was so sweet though.  By the time I became pregnant, we wanted another baby so very much.
Michael was the child of our submission.  We decided to be submissive to God’s will regarding another child whatever the outcome.
Amy was our “exceedingly abudantly above all we could think or ask” child.  Mind you, when I was two or three weeks pregnant, I went to the doctor for my yearly exam.  Neither of us knew yet.  He asked if we wanted more children, I said we didn’t know.  We were praying.  After two babies born without the assistance of medicine  to get pregnant, he said I’d have to take something if we wanted another child!  A month later, I was in his office and we were laughing about it!
The biggest miracle was not the children being born.  The biggest miracle was the change that God wrought in our hearts.  We became much more open to His will for our lives, even if He didn’t fall in line with what we thought we wanted.  He conformed us and transformed us.  I am eternally grateful and blessed.
I know the anguish of barreness.  I also know the stubborness of heart when one doesn’t want children.  I also know the peace of surrendering to the Lord and His will for my family.  If you are barren, do not give up.  Continue to pray without ceasing while pursuing the care that your doctor prescribes.  Know that God loves you deeply.  He knows every tear you cry.  Trust in Him and His perfect timing. 

"He maketh the barren woman to keep house,
and to be a joyful mother of children.
Praise ye the LORD."
Psalm 113:9

Laura
Follower of Jesus Christ


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May I suggest?
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Mommy Moments Monday

21 comments:

  1. I love reading this and love it every time I hear it.

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  2. Just found your blog....I enjoyed this post very much. I kind of relate.....I married late and had struggles after the birth of my second child; I decided I just could not endure something like that again. The Spirit told me otherwise about 3 years later, and at the age of 42 I was pregnant in two months. All went well that time. My youngest is such a blessing and joy!!

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  3. This so touched my heart! I tried for years to have a baby. My husband and I were bent on getting pregnant. I was successful with fetility and procedures...8 times successful. However all 8 pregnancies ended abruptly. With a broken heart and a body that just couldn't take any more we gave up.We started pursuing adoption but quickly became frustrated and hurt by the agency we were working through. 3 failed adoptions in as many months! I couldn't take it, the hurt, the disappointment...the anger. I just needed a break.
    A year later my husband was in a horrible accident at work and his recovery took 2 years. I was so thankful that God had the forsight to know my husband would need me so much in that time that had we had children I would have likely gone crazy! At about the 2 year mark we started dicussing Almost 2.5 years after his accident we decided to try again for children. ALthough now older, wiser and less demanding on what we wanted. We felt God tugging our hearts to become foster parents. Our desire had become one of "We just want to be someones mommy and daddy!" We didn't care if it was a baby, a toddler, we just wanted whatever God had for us. We already had done a lot of the training because of the adoption agency so we flew through the first couple months. Then in September 2008 we became the proud parents of a 16 month old little boy!!! He was actually a relative placement through fc, but the plan was for us to take him and gain permament legal custody, which we did 2 months later. He has been the greatest gift God ever gave us! He is 5 now and I can't imagine my life without him. I tell him all the time "You are the child I prayed for, God hear me and knew exactly who needed me and who I needed". We will be parents again, God has promised us that. He has been so good and so faithful and I am grateful that despite the many opportunities I had to turn my back on God, to walk away I stuck it out. He has blessed me beyond belief!

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  4. I Love this post ... I AM a barren women - 40 something and no children - and yet I have experienced what the Lord meant when he said 'he will make her (me) to be a joyful mother of many"

    humm ... I think I need to blog about this sometime.

    I love God's faithfulness to you as He heard the cry of your heart.

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  5. What a marvelous testimony you have! I am that woman only in reverse. I have 3 children that are nicely spaced, my husband and I decided that we were done and used BC for a few yrs. When my youngest was 4 we decided that we wanted 1 more. In 2004 I had a miscarriage and we have not used BC since, I just don't get pregnant. For some that would be normal but my oldest and one that I miscarried were both conceived while using BC. I wonder what message I am missing but I know that God is sovereign and I accept His plan regardless of what I want. Thank you for the encouraging post.
    Ann

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  6. I love how you can look at your life and see God's hand in it, as well as your response. Thanks for sharing this.

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  7. What an awesome testimony you have!
    God is so wonderful - and faithful to His Word!
    Aren't we glad that He sees our future and has it all secure in His hand?!
    Your story has blessed me, Laura.
    Thank you so much for sharing it for LACE today :-)
    It will be an encouragement to many others!
    Have a great week in God..Trish

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  8. Hi Laura,
    What a beautiful testamony!!
    God is Good.
    God Bless
    Barb from AUSTRALIA

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  9. What a testimony to the goodness of God! Thank you for sharing your heart; there are many who need this encouragement.

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  10. Great testimony! Due to a medical condition, I was told that I would probably not be able to conceive; however I was pregnant within two months of my wedding date. Since we knew that conception was not a given, we started trying again and our daughter was born just 18 months after our son. My condition required a hysterectomy two years ago; and I am so grateful that God blessed me with my children prior to things getting bad. I feel a tug towards adoption, but my husband is not on board with the idea right now. I guess if it's God's will, He'll take care of it :) Thank you!

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  11. This gives me such hope! My Handsome and I were told we couldn't get pregnant at all, even with medical intervention, by our specialists. Then, God allowed us to get pregnant twice naturally. To our sadness, but for God's glory, he did not allow us to meet those precious babies in this lifetime, but we know they are awaiting us in Heaven and we have grown through the experience and come to rely on God more. Your story renewed my hope and reminded me that NOTHING is impossible for God. :-)

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  12. I am so blessed to know that sharing our story has encouraged others. May God grant children to all who are praying for them.

    Laura

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  13. This story gave me goose-bumps! I love hearing how the Lord has blessed family's by giving them children even when the recipients couldn't see past the present moment. Beautiful!

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  14. What a sweet story! As the mother of one, I get really hurt by "only child" comments which are both not true and don't apply to me since I was actually blessed to be able to have one. Wonderful family!

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  15. Hi Bev,

    I understand what you mean about only child comments. I think folks just don't realize what a private thing childbearing is. We each have our own private reasons, some of our own control, some not.

    Now, I'm going to pop over and say hi at your blog.

    May God bless you and your family!

    Laura

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  16. What a beautiful story! This has some meaning for me and I thank you for sharing it...

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  17. You're very welcome, Jes. May God give you the best of blessings.
    Laura

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  18. I struggled long and hard with infertility and love the two children God gave me in his grace. Thank you for your story!

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  19. Such a beautiful post, dear Laura. I LOVED reading your story and tracing God's hand in your life. And, now you have those four beautiful children who bless your life in so many ways. God is so faithful, and He absolutely knows what is best for each one of us. To GOD be the glory! Great things He has done! Thank you for sharing this link with me...I enjoyed it immensely. :)

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    1. You're welcome my friend. It's those 4 children who have kept me so busy I can hardly get anything done this week!

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