I've had some hard times emotionally over the last few weeks. In part, I'm weary of the journey. In part, the medicines didn't agree with me. BUT GOD.
God is so faithful. In my distress, He prompted me to reach out to the right people —good friends who knew how to help. He also brought me in contact with a couple of local support groups, and with an acquaintance who is going through her own breast cancer journey in my own home town. She'll be starting radiation a week or two before I do. Neither of us is looking forward to it, but it will be good for it to be over. We have become fast friends.
For a number of years, she prepared income taxes for people. She said that every year, March 15th would come, and she would just become so tired and worn out. She just wanted it over with. Tax season is exhausting. It wasn't until the last couple of years doing taxes that she recognized the pattern. She said that she is going through the same emotions now. She's finished her surgery and chemo, and now, right before the final push for her, she is just exhausted physically and emotionally.
I'm feeling the same way. My chemo and surgery are now complete. I'm healing from the surgery, but have had some trouble with one of the incisions. I had it checked today, and I don't need any stitches, but it will need some extra tlc for awhile. I'm so ready to be done. I still have radiation to do. I'd hoped to finish by the end of the year so I wouldn't have to pay a new deductible, but it doesn't look like that's possible now. I've also got another six or eight months of IV therapy to block the hormones that fed my cancer. Then there will be pills. But that will seem much easier
It helped to recognize the feelings for what they are. Exhaustion from the journey paired with normal emotions from having a life-threatening illness and normal day-to-day life problems. Life does go on you know. It didn't stop for cancer.
Thanks be to Dr. Baker, Dr. Anis, and Dr. Hughes and mostly to thanks to God, my life won't stop for cancer either.
So, now I'll continue pressing through.
God bless you all!
Thank you all your prayers and encouragement through this time.
Please pray for my husband and children, too. It's wearing on all of us, and the holidays are fast approaching. Thank you!
Sincerely,
Laura Lane
I will trust the LORD at all times. HE'S GOOD!
I am just so sorry you are having to go through this. Soft hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteWe can never understand our journeys, only God knows.
You are so steadfast in your faith and God and God alone will get you through ALL of this.
Prayers for you and your family. Prayers for complete healing. God bless.
OH Laura, how you encourage me in my day to day life.. Seeing you go through this journey... and you keep pressing on with all the
ReplyDeletethings you much do. God is good, and I see and feel His wonderful love through you..
My prayer is He give you strength when your discouraged, tired,and needs. And prayers also for Laura's new found friend.
Laura, I know that climbing that mountain is a long hard road
to travel, But just remember you have made it almost 2/3 the way up... Then you WILL receive that "all clear" and the coast down the mountain will be so much easier.. With God's help you can do this.. His promise is , He will never leave nor forsake you..
hugs my friend.
Dear Laura -- my husband has a scan set for november 17th to be sure he cancer has not returned - he has been cancer free since february - he had cancer in his tonsils and lymph nodes, had chemo, surgery, radiation and today is cancer free. it is a long difficult journey - my continued prayers go out to you and your family....
ReplyDeleteYou are so kind, Meme. Father God, I pray that you will destroy any cancer that has tried to return to Meme's husband and that you will bring about a complete full healing in his body including any troubles that his treatment has given him. I thank you God that it's possible to scan for the enemy's cancer in our body. In Jesus' Name, amen.
DeleteYou are such an inspiration, you are going through something so trying it makes me look at my problems so unimportant. Your faith is contagious. I pray that you will continue to heal and get your rest. I will pray for your family too. thank you for your love of Christ and your family. Sherri from Pleasant Hill MO
ReplyDeleteAre you the lady whom we met after the Joplin tornado?
DeleteI am so worried about you and pray you find and have strength for this long journey. But really it is half over. Keep the faith we are all here with you and so is the Lord.
ReplyDeleteGod will see you through the fninal push to the end of the year
ReplyDeleteI have faith that although you didn't want to pay another deductible, there is a reason. Be it doctor availability, your own rest, a friend who will be available for more help, etc... God has a reason for it!
Hold tight, all of our prayers continue. I for one am blessed that you have come through the stages to where you are. You have continually reminded me to be faithful, you have never waivered!
Be blessed, you know you have my love, prayers and support! Laurie
My friend...
ReplyDeleteHow understandable you are weary and exhausted.
You have approached this journey with so much courage and grace and faith!
Hugs and love as you rest and prepare for the next part of your recovery!
It seems that God sends the right person, card, etc. just at the time most needed. He is so good!
ReplyDeleteOh boy..."wearing on all of us"...I hear you, friend. I am keeping you in prayer. I am so happy to know you have a support system. Love and hugs.
ReplyDeleteHoping you'll both be feeling better soon and this will all be put in the past.
ReplyDeleteDear, dear Laura! It doesn't surprise me a bit that you're feeling so worn out. I also think that as women, we are the family/holiday organizers and feel so much pressure to do so much. Not that you asked, tee hee, but based on what you know at this point in the year, I'd say it's time to delegate, let the holidays go on, & rest. Your friends and family know. That means things may go undone, gifts may not get bought or made, and you might have Sonic for a holiday dinner, but that doesn't mean you can't be thankful on Thanksgiving & celebrate our Lord's birth!
ReplyDeleteIt's totally not the same, but I'm gonna share anyway. For us, it was purely Murphy's Law one year for Christmas.
My bestie was sad because her husband got scheduled to work, her family was gathering 6 hrs. away, & she was not a happy girl! My H & I had plans to go to his sister's about 2 hrs. away. Welllll....the week before, I got a horrid cold that left me drained. I hadn't wrapped or cooked anything. Then, early C'mas eve morning, our pup started throwing up. I spent a couple of hours at the vet's office. She was given meds, she was going to need rest & a ready bathroom. I came home & told my husband that he should go to his sister's and that I'd stay home with our pup to give her meds. He didn't want to go, but I sent him anyway. He went without food, gifts, or anything but his hungry self!! My bestie called to whine some more and I told her I was spending the day alone, too. She said, "No, you're not! I'm coming down (from an hour away) first thing in the morning." Christmas morning, I kissed my husband goodbye as he left & lit the fireplace. It was cold & rainy. My bestie showed up at 9am with special coffee and whack em' cinnamon rolls. We made those and sat on the sofa. We were each at an end, the pup curled up between us. No make up, both in sweats, & wrapped in blankets. We chatted all day in front of that fire, laughed, cried, & just had the best day. We ended up having grilled cheese & tomato soup for lunch/dinner and Ruffles for snacks. She left at about 5pm to meet her husband when he got home.
That was 20 yrs. ago and we still talk about how that was one of our best Christmas memories ever. Nothing went right, but we made lemonade and enjoyed it anyway.
Blessings to you, Laura!!
Thank you for sharing your story Debby..almost makes me wish I could have a Christmas like that with my Best Friend who lives a state away...she is like a sister. You proved it isn't always about tradition or things going "as planned"..it's about Jesus, family and love.
DeleteYou're welcome, Karla. I hope you do get a Christmas like that. Crazy as it was, it's a fond memory now.
DeleteDear Laura, such a difficult time this has been for you, and yet so victorious in so many ways too! You and your family are continually in my prayers, and the positive faith that you have in the Lord will get you through this battle too. Just take it one day at a time. Don't borrow trouble from tomorrow. Just find things to be thankful for today, and don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself, somehow! The Lord has been mightily with you through each part of this journey, and He will continue! So thankful you have a close friend now to walk through this journey with her. That is such a big support, just to have someone to talk to, who knows just what you are going through. You are in my prayers dear friend, praying for the Lord to continue to support, and encourage your heart and bring you just what you need, when you need it.
ReplyDeleteI found the radiation very tiring. Mine was for 31 days straight and my skin got very red and almost burnt like. I think I mentioned before Aquaphor for this if your doctor okays it. It really helped me. It has been four years for me and I feel better every day. Hope this journey goes quickly and you feel yourself soon.
ReplyDeleteSo happy you found such good support. Keeping your family in prayer also. It is very hard on family members, I know. I hope each new day brings healing to all.
ReplyDeleteHey Laura. Sorry I've been behind in reading and commenting lately, but you've still been on my mind. I'm so sorry you are going through this. None of us know from day to day, if we may face the same thing. Each day you are a little closer to being through with these treatments. You are an encouragement to us all. Love, Henny
ReplyDeleteIt's so good to read an update. I cannot imagine what you are going through. May God give you comfort, joy, and healing!
ReplyDeleteOf course you are emotionally exhausted! Bless your heart, so much going on with the holidays, family, and curing your breast cancer! I'm continually praying for you and pray God will send His peace and breeze you right on through the next few months! ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteHugs! I think that you are going through a normal process right now. I am thankful that you have one beside you to talk to and help you with what you are feeling right now. We had to pay two deductibles since my husband's coma and hospital stay was over the new year and God provided it all, almost $8K. He will see you through in every way. Almost 30 years ago we had a holiday season when I was too sick to even sit up and it is one of the best in our memory because it was so restful and low key in every way. We had McD's on Christmas Eve and the kids thought it was awesome. Much love and many prayers coming your way.
ReplyDeleteOh my dear friend, of course you are weary. Every one has that point where they hit that wall. I pray for you every time I pray and I will continue to. Wrapping you in a very big hug!
ReplyDeleteYes, dear friend; hang in there and press forward! There is light at the end of the tunnel!! I feel so much better now that my infection has cleared up. I know I don't have to endure the chemo and radiation that you did and will; but I continually pray for you! I'll be healing for 6 months and then we'll see. Glad you found some support friends! Thanks for sharing with SYC.
ReplyDeletehugs,
Jann
I will continue to pray for you when God brings you to mind, which He does at times. I always know that those times are when He wants me to pray for that person, so I do.
ReplyDeleteI think for a lot of things in life, the time when the crisis is past, and the waiting game is happening, is one of the hardest times of all. I am a girl of action, as most of us are, and waiting is hard. I pray that God will continue to bring you close to Him, and wrap you in His arms, and that He will show you one good thing each day--no matter how hard. That's what He did for me during one of the darkest times of my life--one good thing each day. It's what I asked for each morning, and He was faithful.