Sunday, May 1, 2022

Flickering and Fighting

Photo from Pixabay

It seems like it's been a really long winter here this year. We've had spring as early as February here in southern Missouri some years. I remember once, 10 or 11 years ago, we had snow on May fifth. Quite unusual. It didn't stay long, but it did get our attention. 

This year, winter and spring have been battling it out. We'll have 80 degrees one day and a few days later will be in the 30s. A few weeks ago, when we thought all was well, planted a long row of phlox in our front flower bed. Unfortunately, we ended up getting really cold weather again, and they went into shock. We've cut them back and fertilize them in hopes that they will revive. They're not looking good, but maybe.

Photo from Pixabay
“Laura felt a warmth inside her. It was very small, but it was strong. It was steady, like a tiny light in the dark, and it burned very low but no winds could make it flicker because it would not give up.” ~ Laura Ingalls Wilder, The Long Winter

Here we are at the beginning of May.

Today has actually been very pretty. The air is cool, but the sun is warm. Our neighbors' flowering bushes and trees are beautiful. Unfortunately, our tulip tree tried to bloom at the wrong time and lost all of its buds. It's a shame. That tree was one of the reasons I loved the place when we found it 3 years ago. I look forward to seeing it bloom each spring. 

In a way, the wrestling between good and evil that is all around us, and even in us, reminds me of the battle between spring and winter this year.  Although we know that ultimately good wins over evil, there are times when we feel the cold sadness or fear or doubt creep in just like the plunging temperatures when winter is trying to reassert its claim.

Those of us who believe in God, in Jesus Christ, in the Bible, have assurance this battle will indeed and in our victory. One of my friends died recently. She's a dear friend who, like me, battled cancer. Deborah fought hard and valiantly physically and spiritually. She loves the Lord with all her heart and all her strength. She fought the good fight she ran the race she won. Sometimes our healing comes fully in heaven. Sometimes we continue on here completely healed, in some way scarred, or continuing the fight.

Statistically, you are probably in some kind of struggle yourself right now. It might be a struggle with depression, with fear, with family problems, with an addiction, with financial or legal troubles. It could be many things. When we depend on Jesus completely, when we give him our first attention and our first Allegiance, he changes us. He changes the way we think. He changes our perspective. He provides in miraculous ways. He brings healing in relationships and physical healing. And when he doesn't, he brings the strength and the courage and the grace to walk through whatever the situation is in our lives.

I can tell you this for sure. I have walked with God, and I have walked without God. I do not want to live without God in my life. He has changed me and changed my circumstances so drastically. He has been so good to me even when I hurt. Even when I don't understand what's going on, he's always leading me through and bringing about something better for me, because I love him. He always brings me through. If you love him, too, he'll always bring you through, too.

God bless you!

“Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.” Psalm 55:22

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’” Psalm 91:1-2


  1. Beautiful post. I will never walk without the Lord again in my life. He is my salvation. Thank you for spreading the Word.

  2. Hello Laura. No need to publish this, am just saying hello. This struggle goes on just as you said. The things I told you about before are still going on for over four years now. As recent as this week I have had terrible things thrown at me out in public places. Things no decent woman should have to hear. Loud, profane. So yes the struggle with darkness goes on. But in my heart of hearts I go on.because Christ is my reward for enduring such things. I am sorry about your friend. The letting go is so very hard sometimes. I have not planted anything here this year. I honestly don't have the heart to deal with it. But just a few minutes ago I was thanking the Lord that I have seen so many pretty flowers in other peoples yards. The azaleas this year have been just beautiful.
    I put up a small blog post if you want to read it. It is just a tiny one I did for a friend of mine. I know you are busy no need to answer back. Just stopping by to let you know I am still reading your posts. Hugs Annie

  3. Thank you Laura! I am in treatment for triple negative breast cancer. Jesus is my hope!

  4. It's definitely lonely without The Saviour, and am glad I won't ever experience that feeling since accepting Christ over 46 years ago. Who even wants to spend an ounce of time wondering what happens after death? {suffers} No other being of any other religion (Mohamed, Buddha, etc) has risen from the dead. But our Jesus has! And those who believe will, too!! Well, those who do not believe will see Him one day, but won't spend eternity with Him. He will cast them into Hell, whether they believe in Hell or not; a place of fire and brimstone where thirst will never be quenched, where the body will burn for eternity, but not burn up. Where the agony and pain, and darkness, and loneliness, and gnashing of teeth will last forever...that is, for EVER.


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Your blog friend,
Laura Lane
5 Year Cancer Survivor